Homesick for a better time,
by LovelyDemon
Summary: He was just homesick for a better time,


**Memories from before Elliot's death. Pairing Ellioz. In a way this will be AU… ^^ you'll understand later why.**

**I do not own Pandora Hearts.**

* * *

"_A Nightray and a Vesalius, friends? Such nonsense is not allowed in this household."_

_Then what about lovers?_

* * *

_._

_.._

…

_.._

_._

* * *

_Maybe he knew it all along, many scenarios were running through his head, things that he did; things that he shouldn't have done, things that he should have done… but these kind of 'what ifs' were useless as he glanced at his worried servant who was waiting for his answer. _

_A sigh,_

_He shook his head and closed the door behind his back. Walking away from the Rainsworth mansion. _

* * *

He didn't remember when he started to grow so close to Elliot, had it been that time when they met in Reveille, or maybe after that, at the festival where they both got lost and bumped into each other? He truly couldn't remember, what he did know was that when he felt for him… he felt hard. At first he felt disgusted, they were friends, both male… was such a thing even possible?

But it had been Elliot that made the first move and it had been Elliot that made the last.

He had been surprised that when they got together, how gentle he was… sure Elliot was still a hothead, but he showed more of his soft sides, his romantic sides… and Elliot, Elliot was romantic.

"_What's the name of this song? I like it!" _

"_You can have it," _

"…_I-I can?" _

"_Sure, it's my gift for you then."_

"_That's… pretty cheesy,"_

"_Shut-up!" _

He loved these secret dates, they had promised each other to see each other every Monday and Friday. Just use the excuse that they wanted to go for a walk or something, clear their minds. There they would meet at a secret spot, most of the times it had been Oz talking, Elliot just listening and smirking, or when Elliot talked it was about a book and Oz had learned to keep his opinion for himself sometimes about the characters that Elliot liked.

He remembered these times that Elliot would visit him and bump into him and Break practicing sword fight, both sword men thought it was more then fun to tell Oz what was wrong and where he made a mistake. Yeah, Break probably knew about their secret relationship but he kept it silent. Sharon probably knew from Break and Leo… well Leo was smart, Gilbert just noticed some things, but never clicked it together while Alice, Alice ate her meat.

He would remember the secret kisses and touches while hiding away from others, the soft laughs.

The feeling of laying in someone's arms and feeling safe, not having to bother about the other to actually think you're weak while enjoying the closeness. It was great, it was wonderful and he wished to go back to these times.

Xxx

"_You're thinking," _Elliot spoke, sitting next to him and giving him a curious look, wondering what was bothering Oz.

"_I've been wondering," _Oz spoke, _"About what I said about the relationship between the Nightray and the Vesalius maybe we-"_

"_We can't tell them about 'this',"_

"_I know that, but we can make them believe we're just friends."_

"_They'll find out sooner or later,"_

"_They won't,"_

"_Oz, just stop talking about that. I thought about that too but we just…" _

"_Yeah… I know," _

"_Hey," _Elliot smiled at him and ruffled his hair, _"Don't pout like that," _he teased him, as if Oz was a little kid. No more like he was a girl. They never really talked about who was the dominant one, just made jokes like 'you're the girl' and 'I am the boy!', though it was more then obvious that Elliot was the one that took control and that Oz didn't mind that at all, he just let Elliot do whatever he wanted, enjoying everything they did together. "_I love you," _

Yes, it definitely was Elliot that wore the pants in their relationship, Oz blushed and looked away, not wanting Elliot to see the expression on his face, still not being used to a person telling him they love him. Elliot laughed when seeing that and easily pushed the boy down on the slightly wet grass and crawled on top of him, snickering he looked down at Oz. "_You're cute like this," _

"_I'm not… cute…" _Oz mumbled and looked away, a pout on his face as he tried to hide his embarrassment, but he really was no good when it came to love. The only thing he was good at was flirting, but even then he would slightly blush.

Though all these thoughts were easily forgotten when Elliot kissed him, pressing his lips gently on Oz's, moving them oh so slowly, as if testing Oz… he was waiting for Oz's answer, the boy didn't leave him disappointed as he answered to the kiss, wrapping his arms around neck and pulling him closer. They never really went further then just kissing and touching, just when Elliot's hand had found its way under Oz's shirt did the first droplet fall out from the sky. Choosing to ignore it, he went further with kissing Oz, Oz didn't seem to notice it as he was already gasping softly for air between their kisses and moved his body against Elliot's.

Oz's skin felt soft beneath his touch, his skin was warm… he pulled a little back, first Oz tried follow him, not liking it when Elliot suddenly broke a kiss. They just lay there, gazing into each other's eyes. Elliot couldn't help but smirk when seeing Oz like this; Oz truly was a sight to see. Oz remembered Elliot saying him that he at first wasn't sure if he truly loved Oz, maybe it was just the feeling you got from this secret, a secret love between two males, two families that hate each other. It sounded tragic, and both hoped more then ever that it wouldn't end like Romeo and Juliet.

It started to rain harder, so both had to let go of each other and stand up. Elliot cursing, Oz who only wore his usual outfit got faster wet, though the boy didn't seem to mind as he decided to hide under a tree. Laughing because Elliot didn't like the rain.

"_You know that a storm is coming right, it's not safe under the trees when there's lightening,"_

"_I know…" _Oz nodded and leaned his head on Elliot's shoulder while crossing his arms and trying not to shiver. Elliot, being the noble as always removed his coat and put it on the smaller one's shoulders. Oz had been about to protest if the sound of thunder hadn't interrupted him.

"_Let's just go home, how far is the Rainsworth mansion from here?" _

"_Half an hour walk," _

"_That's too long…" _

"_No it's fine," _

Elliot ignored him, he grabbed the coat Oz wore and pulled the hoodie over Oz's head, then grabbed his arm and pulled him with him, to the Nightray household. Ignoring Oz who kept asking stupid questions, only when he entered the house through the servant's entrance with a small key did he look at Oz, "_Stay silent and don't remove the hoodie… it's even better if you stay in the shadows,"_

"_I didn't know you had the guts to do this," _Oz laughed,

"_I'm going kill you,"_

"_Well that would be lovely. Oz Vesalius-"_

"_Sssh!"_

"_-Found death in the Nightray household-"_

"_Shut-up!"_

"_-Murdered by Elliot Nightray,"_

Elliot shut the boy up with his lips, of course after making sure no one saw them. Oz of course immediately shut up, and just like any other time was he the last one to stop the kiss. _"If you won't keep quiet you can sleep on the ground in these cold clothes,"_

"_Fine… I'll shut-up…" _

And Oz kept his promise, he silently followed the Nightray to his bedroom, Elliot was the son of a Nightray, a very rich family so Oz sure knew that he didn't had to except a small room. But Elliot sure had an impressive bedroom.

His room was twice as big as Oz's room at the Vesalius mansion, though he wasn't surprised that his father had something to do with that. Piece of trash didn't need that much space. He slowly removed the drenched coat while looking around. He almost bumped into the large piano, _"You have your own piano…"_ Oz seemed truly surprised.

"_It's easier like that_," Elliot spoke and removed his own wet jacket.

He gave Oz some old clothes from a few years ago that he still had somewhere far away in his walk in closet and handed him two towels. It was a simple shirt and short, though Oz seemed more then happy that he was out of these cold clothes as he wrapped a towel around himself, "_Cold,_" he mumbled. "_Ah I should call Gil… he must be worried," _

"_Over there on my desk," _

"_Seriously, you have a phone in your room."_

"_You don't?"_

"_W-well not in the Rainsworth mansion…" _he quickly spoke and grabbed the phone, calling the Rainsworth mansion; he wasn't surprised that Break picked up. He quickly asked after Gilbert, _"Oh my, my if it isn't our lost princess, had us worried over here." _

"_Give me that!" _Gilbert shouted, "_Oz!? Where are you? Are you hurt?"_

"_I'm fine, I'm fine Gil… geez, are you even breathing?" _he joked, he glanced at Elliot who stood next to him and was looking through the papers that lay on his desk, new songs Oz noticed. He turned his head a little when seeing the name _'Oz' _written on one, quickly reading the notes he smiled when seeing it was the one Elliot gave to him. "_Anyhow, I'm with Elliot… I bumped into him during my walk," _

Elliot rolled his eyes when hearing that, _"Yeah because that doesn't suspicious," _

Oz simply shrugged,

"_At the Nightray household? Oz what the hell- Stay there I'm on my way-"_

"_In this weather, Gilbert-kun. How about you just stay here, it's not like Elliot is going to eat him… well not literally," _

"_I'm sure Oz-sama doesn't mind spending the night there," _Sharon and Break were talking on the background, causing Oz to blush slightly, he glanced nervously at Elliot who was reading a letter that lay on his desk, seemed that his sister had left for a short trip.

"_W-well I don't know if Elliot doesn't mind if I… uhm…" _

Elliot shook his head, a sign that he didn't care if Oz stayed. "_Just keep quiet," _

"_Oh… it's fine he says," _Oz smiled, _"Well then, see you tomorrow!" _

"_No wait, Oz-"_

"_Bye Gil," _Oz laughed and hang up,

"_Now let's see, where can I put you without you getting lost,"_

"_Hey!"_

"_Wouldn't want you to get lost, this place must be huge for someone as small as you."_

"_Shut-up," _

Elliot never got any visitors after eight in his room, it seemed that the Nightrays respected each others privacy. So that also meant that they could do whatever they wanted without anyone interrupting them. It didn't even cross Oz's mind to go any further then usual, though what started with just these sweet gentle kisses became hotter and soon Oz found himself wanting even more, he tried to keep that hungry mouth of his shut, he tried to listen to Elliot's hisses to stay quiet, he didn't know if Elliot had done these kind of things, he always seemed to know what he was doing, unlike Oz who was new to this all.

That night he felt asleep in the arms of his lover, not alone in a too big bed with thousand things running through his head.

Elliot was a morning person. No doubt about that, when Oz woke up Elliot was already up and talking with Leo who had brought them breakfast,

"_It was raining,"_

"_I see, well glad that you didn't let Oz-kun keep wearing these wet clothes." _

"_Wh-what do you mean with that?_

"_You don't seem to mind his lack of clothes,"_

"_We didn't-"_

"_I suggest you let him take a hot bath… that's good for… a cold,"_

"_Damn it Leo," _

The servant had laughed with that and then left the room, Elliot let out a frustrated sigh and then glanced at Oz, the boy still lay in bed, tired eyes were gazing at him. Oz smiled at him when their eyes met, causing the Nightray to huff and roll his eyes, yet he didn't hide the slight smirk on his face as he walked back to the bed where Leo had put the small table with breakfast. "_I always thought you were a morning person," _the teen spoke while he poured some tea in a cup and reached it out to Oz, the boy sighed even though the smile on his face. _"I am, but yesterday was just a long day… I guess," _he spoke and tried to stand up, hissing though when pain shot through his body coming from his lower back. Elliot raised an eyebrow when seeing that happen,

"_No… I just," _Oz chuckled nervously and slowly sat up, ignoring the pain. He accepted the tea and drank from it, sighing… "_Did you ever drink Gil's tea?" _he asked while gazing at his blurry reflection in the creamy liquid.

"_Not that I remember," _Elliot answered and took a bit from a croissant, he watched how Oz grabbed a small sandwich and took a small bite from it while tired emerald eyes gazed at nothing particular. Just gazing at Oz… the boy that was always fully awake, seeing him like this with that sleepy expression the youngest Nightray couldn't hold back, the only warning Oz got was Elliot moving a bit closer to him, laying a hand on his cheek and then lips were pressed on his.

"_That isn't very tasty… my mouth was still full," _

"_I don't care," _

Elliot had never been that rough, maybe it had been because of what they did the previous day, but his hands were already feeling every bit of skin. Oz moaned softly when he did that, breakfast suddenly not that interesting anymore. Elliot pushed him down, back on his bed, pushing his tongue in a bit too rough to Oz's liking but he didn't protest.

A knock on the door interrupted them though, Elliot let out an annoyed sigh while Oz couldn't help but laugh as the Nightray stood up and walked away from the part of the bedroom where the bed was, the door was out of sight from the bed so that the Nightray didn't had to worry about anyone seeing Oz.

It was a maid, the young lady made a small bow and apologized for interrupting whatever Elliot was doing, "_Gilbert-sama called, he says he's going to visit us… he asked if he could talk with you when he visits." _

"_When will he be here?"_

"_In about an hour," _

"_Thanks," _

The maid left and Elliot walked back to his bedroom, Oz had just finished the sandwich when Elliot came back, the smaller boy gave him one of his beautiful smiles, before Elliot pushed him down again and kissed him again, while doing that Oz couldn't help but chuckle in the kiss. _"I would like to take a shower you know…"_

"_Then you can go,"_

"_I can't… not if you're on top of me," _

Elliot smirked when hearing that, pecking Oz the lips _"A bath might be better though… Leo told me…" _he coughed awkwardly, he tried to hid the blush as he looked away.

"_I guess I should do that then," _

"_Yep.."_

The Vesalius laughed and when Elliot got of him he sat up straight, whining softly as he tried to stand up. He didn't know when Elliot had helped him in the too big shirt, but he was more then grateful for that.

Elliot snickered softly when Oz tried to walk, causing the poor boy to blush even more.

He didn't know how long it took him, but he did remember enjoying the warmth of the water and he liked Elliot's company, the Nightray just sat next to him. They both talked about stupid things, had a ridiculous fight about the part were Edgar from Holy Knight died and how it should have gone instead.

When Oz got out of his bath and got some clothes from Elliot, -luckily they were from two years ago so that they were his side-, then did Gilbert come, he knocked on the door, Oz recognized it immediately. He and Elliot had been playing chess, Elliot got really angry that he had lost twice.

"_Oz! Thank god! How are you? Did you get hurt? No I'm sure that-"_

"_I'm fine," _

"_Okay…" _he then glanced at Elliot who seemed a bit angry because Gilbert had been only talking to Oz the whole time, "_Right, thanks Elliot for taking care of Oz."_

"_Geez Gil, I'm not a little kid,"_

"_Just go," _Elliot waved it off and gazed back at the chessboard, his eyes widened then when seeing Oz would have won for the 3rd time if Gilbert hadn't showed up. _"Well then… we should go before Vincent notices I'm here…" _he gestured for Oz to follow him.

"_I'm coming, just let my grab my watch." _

"_Yeah sure," _Gilbert said and walked out of the room, Oz quickly stood up and walked as best as he could to Elliot and kissed him, small goodbyes kiss. "_Bye," _

"_Just go!" _A flustered Elliot almost shouted,

Oz laughed when hearing that and then he left with Gilbert, which was very awkward because Gilbert noticed that he was walking slower then usual. _"My stomach hurts," _had been the very bad excuse.

So that when they were back at the Rainsworth mansion Gilbert wanted to call a doctor while Break laughed with it, _"Oz-kun just needs some time to rest, that's all." _

And after that was the party at Isla Yura's place, Elliot kept his distance, making sure no one noticed a thing. Only when they talked in private did the Nightray gave him a quick peck on the lips and then both acted like friends. How Oz regretted many things, he should have stayed by Elliot's side; maybe he could have saved him. He regretted only worrying about Alice and not of Elliot instead, he regretted thinking that Elliot would be all right for a while.

* * *

Today was Monday, Oz sighed while glancing at the door. He had tried to stay at home; to not go for a walk to the place were they usually met… there would be no Elliot there waiting for him. Not now, not tomorrow, not anymore… only in his dreams. He didn't want to go, but his body had another idea, forcing him to walk to the door and open it, breathing in the warm air.

"Oz?"

He turned his head, then smiled softly at Gilbert, "Hi Gil,"

"…Are you going for a walk?"

"I am,"

The tall man nodded, "Would you like me… to accompany you?"

He thought about that, it was just like the previous Friday and Monday, Gil asking him if he could join him for a walk, probably worried that Oz would do something stupid. He sighed, seeing these hopeful and worried eyes gazing at him, the smile faded a bit. "I…" he looked away, back at the door. Then the sad smile came back, "I would love to,"

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**"How could I burden that brat with the weight of my life?"**


End file.
